


Summer´s Sigh

by Harley_N_Joker



Series: Seasons Change [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha!Dean, Alpha!Sam, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, F/M, Half-breeds, I´ll write them down as the stroy proceeds, M/M, Mating, Pack Dynamics, and if you continue kicking my lazy ass it will, but two sweet children named John and Mary, no pregnant Jess anymore, probably a lot of other tags too, thanks for that by the way
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-30
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2017-12-10 00:39:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/779809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harley_N_Joker/pseuds/Harley_N_Joker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years have passed since Castiel had escaped the crumbling remains of his town, losing his mother in the process to a monster half wolf and half man. Years since Dean Winchester, future alpha of a pack of werewolves, saved him from freezing to death, made him part of the family and became a beloved friend to the young man.<br/>Life had been uneventful up until now with the exception of the birth of the alpha´s brother´s twins John and Mary and Castiel was slowly starting to warm up to his wolfish side.<br/>It could have gone one like that, Castiel would have preferred it to be honest, if it weren´t for those unsettling, yellow eyes watching him from the darkness of the forest and the sudden appearance of this beautiful woman who called herself Meg.<br/>And why did Dean oppose her so much?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Still hope you don´t judge me by my summaries and just see for yourself...damn, I am bad at this!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Heat Of The Moment

**Author's Note:**

> I am back again and I apologize right away for this chapter. Story-starters aren´t really my specialty, so please believe me when I say: This wasn´t supposed to turn into PWP!  
> That´s what I get for letting my creative vibes flow freely. All they want is porn...  
> Perhaps it´s better if you don´t see it as a real chapter but a "Welcome back!"-gift from me to you.
> 
> Anyway, I´m glad to see you in this new installment of the "Seasons Change"-verse and hope you have as much fun reading as my devilish, little fingers writing.
> 
> P.S.: Fell free to keep every mistake you find. ;)

Cas changed drastically and not at all over the course of the next four years.

They were now almost the same height, an inch maybe two separating their eyes from being on equal level. And though he didn´t become as muscled as Dean – or God forbid Sam for that matter – his frame had filled out pretty nicely; from the broadening of his shoulders to the lean muscles of his abs and thighs. He clearly was born for speed and agility rather than strength and when his wolf finally got the message to make himself known he would become an excellent hunter.

Castiel´s voice was, he had no other words to describe it, a gift from heaven. Dean had to admit he had felt a certain guilty pleasure coiling inside of him when he realized the younger man, after some very awkward phases of high-pitched words and broken sounds, was sticking to the deep, gravelly voice he had to use after his wolf had gone loose the first time. Maybe he had broken the other´s vocal chords in those few days, maybe it would have developed like that anyway. The thing was he loved it and every time they huddled together in bed like it wasn´t big enough to inhabit four people at once a delightful shiver would run down his spine when Cas was whispering sleepy nothings into his ear.

And that was another matter at hand. Castiel simply refused to be relocated into a different room far away from their bed. Dean wasn´t complaining except well…he was complaining.

He loved sleeping next to the boy, to be wrapped up in his scent and arms so tightly it almost began to hurt. The mornings that were only going to start right after his hands had combed through the ruffled black mess the young man called hair and he received a sweet, grateful smile for his hard work. The nights they´d go star-gazing; Cas sitting comfortably in his lap, his thumbs rubbing distracting circles over his knees, and a thin blanket around them to protect from the cold they both did not feel.

Despite all those things and many more Dean wasn´t as happy as he could be. In fact he felt pretty strained and restless and old and all because of what they did…or didn´t do to be precise. In private moments he would often travel back to their couplings when the heat was becoming too much to bear alone. It was never perfect, quite the opposite. With Castiel just giving and giving and him soaking up all the pleasure he could take like a dry sponge. But they touched and rubbed and bit, they roughened up each other, Cas tearing the sheets and Dean the pillows in those moments of ecstasy.

And that was all they did. Castiel helping his wolf out when the need arose, nothing more. They never crossed the line when Dean was in his right mind and body to return all those heated touches, little nips and tender kisses; hell, when he was able to kiss the boy at all!

“If your stare becomes even more intense you can quit the act and just take him on the floor in front of everyone.” Sam told him with amusement and chastisement battling for the upper hand in his voice and Dean remembered where exactly he had left his standing body to mope over a situation that thoughts alone were never be able to solve. A cup of freshly pressed apple juice was pushed into his hands and after a few swallows down a dry throat Dean sent his brother a grateful smile.

“Wouldn´t want to take your pleasure of trying to explain to the children how the bees and the birds work, Sammy.” Dean said with a dirty grin crossing his face. “And besides, the whole pack knows what´s going on. Even your two little hell spawn somehow got wind of it…” his brother glared at him disapprovingly but kept his mouth shut, knowing that Dean loved his niece and nephew as if they were his own. And he truly did.

“So the only one oblivious to anything is the one you´re pining for. Sucks to be you right now.” Dean just snorted in response and emptied his cup. He didn´t need Sam to tell him how screwed up his current situation was. His brain was doing a damn fine job on its own, fuck you very much.

Something tugged urgently at his breeches and when Dean gazed down to inspect the source of disturbance he was greeted by hazel eyes trying to look at him through a curtain of long blond hair accompanied by a pearly grin missing a tooth.

“C´mon uncle! Dinner! the little girl exclaimed happily while bouncing excitedly on the spot.

Mary was a little whirlwind, they´d all known from the moment she had made her first stumbling steps and immediately bumped her head on the wall right next to her. But instead of crying and reaching for her daddy to pick her up and comfort her she had just rubbed her forehead, had wobbled back onto her chubby legs and had glared at the offending obstacle as if to dare it to stand in her way again a second time.

“Why is it that my children crave your attention a lot more than mine?” Sam´s voice was neutral enough for him not to tease his brother about his more than obvious jealousy but he was unable to hold back the victorious grin lightening up his face.

“It´s simple.” he grunted while lifting his niece onto his shoulders, a loud ringing in his ears when she screamed joyfully. “I don´t make them eat their vegetables.”

 

* * *

 

The grass under Castiel´s fingers felt dry and cool and he could still smell the moist heat from earlier that day. There was loud cheering and laughter heading from the camp and he wondered if Chuck, completely drunk and out of his right mind, really was now dancing naked around the fire like he´d exclaimed an hour prior. Though the following morning would be very humiliating for his friend Castiel was glad the shy man seemed to finally enjoy himself to the fullest; he deserved it.

Something in his mind shifted uneasily when a new wave of mingled scents was filling his nostrils. It had been very entertaining for a while to dissect every new aroma crossing his path into the tiny particles it consisted of. It was how he had learned that additionally to their unique odor everyone had a second one concocted by his own mind to mark them as friend or foe. The difficulty was finding out which was which. He had asked Pamela, who somehow had become his very patient and indulgent teacher, for advice on that matter but she had simply smiled knowingly and told him he should give his wolf a little time to get accustomed to their growing bond. Castiel would be lying if he said it hadn´t made him excited to know he was finally adjusting to his life in the pack after four years.

He had considered telling his friends and Dean about this development but something inside of him had bristled at the thought and so he had refrained from letting even the smallest detail slip. Perhaps it was some kind of test for Castiel to see if he could let his instincts rather than his mind decide for once. He hoped his wolf acknowledged his efforts because controlling his breathing and heart rate while lying to his friends whenever they cast worried glances towards him after seeing him flinch for some unknown reason was harder than he had expected.

Again he smelled smoke, wood, sweat, wine, meat, fruits, heard the exuberant laughter of his pack and the maddening cackle of the bonfire and his nose and ears started to itch so fiercely under the onslaught of overpowering everything that Castiel nearly ripped out the grass under his clenching fingers as not to rub them raw.

He had become more and more sensitive over the course of the last couple months but was usually too occupied with work or watching John and Mary together with Jessica when Sam was out hunting or in a meeting. It was only in quiet, solitary moments like this when his body had time to notice the painful changes it was going through.

His eyes, now sharp enough to spot a small animal on seven-hundred yards, started to burn every time the light became too bright. The tiniest snap of a twig could send his ears ringing for hours and his sense of smell; well he had gotten used to discreetly holding his nose a lot more.

Calloused fingers began to comb through his hair and suddenly the various overwhelming scents were taken over by something simple; sweet and spicy like freshly baked apple pie with a tad too much cinnamon and a light, musky undertone. Suddenly all of his senses were focusing on the man behind him. The heat radiating off of his body, the weight of his hand stroking down Castiel´s neck and the almost silent rustle of clothes over a calmly heaving chest. When blunt nails gently scratched over his scalp something whined inside of his mind and a warm feeling settled into his every limb.

Castiel was thankful for his strong self-control. Otherwise he would have followed his wolf´s first urge to lean back and rub off on the strong, muscled legs at his back marking this trusted man with his scent and being marked in return. He wanted to show everyone still unaware that the position of best friend was already taken and nobody would ever be able to get as close to his alpha as he could; as he was given the privilege to do so.

It still felt strange knowing such cravings were created by his own conscious thought and yet solely belonged to some foreign, disconnected part of him. But as long as Dean indulged in his antics Castiel saw nothing wrong with letting his other mind do the same.

“Alone, little boy? How very careless of you. What if a wild animal catches your scent and deems you edible? Think you´re strong enough to throw it off while lying face down in the dirt?” Dean´s speech was a bit slurred and by now Castiel could smell something sour underneath that intriguing scent indicating his friend had consumed enough alcohol to intoxicate half a dozen men at least for days. He was just glad for their faster metabolism otherwise there would have been a lot more near death experiences in the past years.

The satisfied sigh leaving his mouth when those nimble fingers moved downwards to massage the sensitive spot behind his right ear was met with a chuckle; deep and rich and full of mirth making his heart flutter like a small bird.

Dean always got a little bit over-affectionate when he drank. The most memorable moment of his escapades had been the celebration of the twins´ birth when he had jumped an unsuspecting Bobby to soundly kiss him on the lips and shouting how much he loved the man. He hadn´t been able to look their alpha in the eye for weeks after. Needless to say the same had counted for every other member who had had the pleasure to be a witness.

His head was tipped back by another hand gently closing around his jaw, thumb caressing the corner of his mouth. Green eyes were watching him closely from above taking in every detail of Castiel´s face as if their owner wanted to glimpse into his very core.

They stared at each other like so many times before and yet something felt different. The innocent competition between friends was withering under this scrutiny to be replaced by something dark and ambiguous. To be honest it frightened him somehow; his heart pounding against its confinement like it wanted to break free from it and his breath hitching slightly every time those hands stroked over his heating skin. And at the same time there was a feeling of excitement and pleasure coiling through his veins telling his body to stay relaxed and pliant instead of letting his tension get the better of him.

Castiel wasn´t very experienced when it came to friendly social interaction given that in his old town no one had been scrambling to get his attention; his mother and some of the older ladies had been the only ones willing and wanting to touch him in a caring and loving way on a daily basis. Therefore he had only deemed it necessary to learn the most basic etiquettes as not to seem impolite and ignorant to the people around him.

Living in the pack, however, was completely different from what Castiel had been used to see and feel in his former life. Dealing with your affection or gratitude in a physical matter rather than a distanced nod or polite handshake was as common as breathing and the first time he had been hugged by a woman he had helped with re-decorating one of the common rooms had left him in shock for the entire day. And still, after so many years, Castiel could honestly say he would never entirely get used to it but he tried his best.

Hot breath ghosted over the crook of his neck and strong arms and thighs circled around his body to pull him back against a well-known chest. Dean´s embrace was tight, almost to the point of pain, and his breathing had grown labored moistening his shirt with every new puff of air. He seemed desperate to keep Castiel exactly where he was, clinging to him like a drowning man would to a piece of flotsam on the endless ocean.

“If this animal really has the advantage of standing on my back and pushing me into the ground wouldn´t fighting make it all worse? Isn´t it better to simply submit lest it does sink its teeth into my throat?” he sounded much calmer than he felt; his heartbeat still pounding in his ears and now with their close proximity Dean had to hear and feel it, too. He received no immediate answer but the press of insistent fingers against his collarbone and after a few moments where confusion held him tense and non-responding he let his body go lax and rested his head on his friend´s right shoulder. The hum of appreciation sent another shiver through his limbs.

“Think you could do that, huh? Slow your heart, calm your breaths or control the small tremors…fear is a predator´s most exciting aphrodisiac, did you know that?” Dean´s voice was husky and sensual; it offered him all the pleasures he could ever imagine and now Castiel felt a familiar heat stir in his loins.

Dean had started a dangerous game for the both of them and Castiel was losing it. He was neither drugged nor as drunk as his friend to justify the way his body reacted to those advances but despite the guilt that settled nicely in his guts next to the sparking flames of desire he couldn´t find the strength to push those hot hands away when they slipped beneath his shirt to stroke over his stomach.

“Or maybe that´s not fear I smell all over you, little boy. Maybe it´s anticipation…”

Dean´s teeth scraped over the back of his neck only to be followed by an eager, hot tongue soothing his abused flesh and he could do nothing but gasp in pained pleasure. He did not wish to hurt Dean, after all the man was drunk out of his righteous mind and hadn´t taken a liking to one of the females for quite a while if Castiel recalled correctly, however letting this continue was out of the question.

He loved the intimacy they shared, reveled in the mischievous smiles and bone-crushing hugs that solely seemed to be reserved for Sam and him. It was a sign of how important he was to his alpha, how much Dean cared for him even if he was unable to form words around it. Castiel would be a filthy liar if he said he hadn´t wondered how those lips would feel on his skin.

A gentle press on his forehead, a soft brush against his temple or perhaps even a playful kiss on his cheek to make him blush in front of the other pack members. Something chaste but affectionate with a hint of glee at his obvious discomfort. Nothing like those impatient bites on his shoulders indicating him to take the offensive garment off or the greedy nips at the underside of his throat that were surely to leave marks if his friend kept on with it. Searing hot hands squeezing his shoulder longer than necessary when in public or stroking over his back soothingly when they lay in bed together instead of viciously kneading his erection through his pants and leaving a hand-shaped bruise on his left hipbone.

He loved Dean with all his heart. And Castiel knew if he ever asked him to show his human form the same pleasure he granted his wolf he wouldn´t hesitate to comply. Because Dean was his savior and he still owed him so much. Because he was his friend, the best he would ever have in his entire life, and he wished to make him happy. Because he was his alpha and he needed to be a good boy for him. He craved it with such an intensity it made his mind reel and his body curl in on itself.

He was as taut as a bowstring, his breathing reduced to breathless gasps and gravelly moans that sounded too loud in the silence around them. His mind was blank only focusing on the calloused hand gripping his flesh tightly and stroking it without mercy. He could hear a wet sound every time it slipped over the sensitive tip and he his toes curled in perfect sync.

“Let go, Cas. I want to see it. Show me!”

Sharp teeth pierced through the flesh of his neck and Castiel threw his head back and shouted his ecstasy for all the world to hear.


	2. What Happens In The Forest...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I cannot believe it. This chapter has actual, pornless, somehow logical plot...I am surprised with myself. And maybe proud, just a bit.  
> I wanna thank you again for bookmarking, commenting, kudos-ing and all in all for continuing to read. I know I said it before but hell, that really makes me one happy, little German fucker.  
> And if anyone thought this would end without me cursing: I appreciate your faith in me. Even if it´s a waste of energy.

The heart under his fingertips was drumming a painful staccato. Eyes filled with terror were searching for a way out and for a fleeting moment Castiel considered loosening his grip for a fraction, just enough to let the little rabbit slip through his hands to seek refuge in flight. He pitied the animal. It was simply bad luck that made this unsuspecting, innocent creature leave its burrow only to cross ways with him. But as much as he felt sorry for the animal there was no way it would survive their encounter.

The crack was surprisingly loud and immediately the small, grey furball ceased all struggles; Castiel´s hands pressing it to the ground until its heart gave up any attempt to revive it. He was left with a corpse that soon would grow cold and a mixed feeling of guilt and strange excitement making his stomach clench uncomfortably. The whispers of his wolf to take a hearty sniff so he could bathe in the pride of a first successful hunt wasn´t helping him at all to keep his breakfast in.

Hunting was one of the few things where he openly begged to differ from his other mind no matter how important his friends told him it was. Of course having to feed fifty-three mouths, including him, who consumed copious amounts of meat made it an almost daily necessity. That didn´t mean he had to enjoy it beyond spending time bonding with his wolf and his friends.

A drop of sweat was running down his left temple when he got up on his legs and Castiel wiped it away without thought. This proved to be a mistake though because now he was painfully reminded of the various scratches lining both his hands and arms. He had pursued the rabbit for a mile, crawling through bushes and climbing ancient fallen tree trunks not caring if his clothes got ripped or his lungs burned from the lack of oxygen. A hiss escaped his lips only to be lost in the rustle of the leaves.

Dean would not be amused when…if…he met him back in the den. They were barely seeing each other since that night a few days ago. His friend had even ordered him, in his alpha voice on top of that, to leave the bed they had been sharing for years now. And despite the cold, hurt feeling settling in his chest like a heavy weight and the many questions and protests lining up to be voiced he had followed; the urge to please his alpha with his obedience too strong to ignore. At least he had gotten one of the few tiny single bedrooms so he wouldn´t have to pretend everything was alright at night, too.

Sleep had become a rarity for Castiel. Not because he lacked exercise. No, the twins were keeping him fairly occupied with their demands of hide-and-seek or playing tag. As a result exhaustion was a dear friend when he let his body fall into the sheets. However every time he closed his eyes and tried to find a comfortable position he heard a faint voice whisper in the back of his head telling him this whole arrangement was completely wrong. There should have been a sweet, musky spice enveloping his senses and not just the smell of the dusty downs in his pillow. A strong and slightly possessive embrace should have warmed him instead of this scratchy, thin blanket and a rough but honey-sweet voice as his lullaby.

Castiel sighed deeply and stuffed the rabbit into his satchel. Of course he had felt embarrassed and slightly humiliated when he´d come back from whatever high place the other man´s hands had sent him and the first thought piercing through his hazy mind had been if this incident somehow had destroyed their close friendship. Dean must have known what had been going on in his head because he´d simply rolled them both to the side whispering in his ear that he had _“…no intention of letting you go, so you can just damn well relax and go the fuck to sleep”_. He had sounded so calm and satisfied that Castiel had assumed his friend was alright with what they had just done – an extension of their affection for each other into the physical realm – and he´d accepted it with an eagerness he hadn´t thought possible.

The quiet rush of water caught his attention and immediately he noticed how much his body demanded a quick drink. Trusting Sam to follow his scent and find him wherever he was going he made sure his prey was securely stored away and headed for the desirable source of sound.

The air was hot and heavy and soon would be stifling when the sun reached its peak. They all hoped for a bit of rain but so far no one had answered their prayers leaving them all with a certain weariness. Excessive sunlight meant heat, heat meant dry wood and dry wood was calling for one stupid human to light a fire that would eventually burn them all alive. Castiel knew this train of thought lingered on the edge of paranoia but better to be safe than sorry as Dean would say.

He huffed and kicked a pine cone a few feet away with a little more anger fuelling his action than he intended to.

First Castiel had tried to ease the situation with words. But reassuring a thick-headed individual like Dean Winchester that his “drunken assault” wasn´t so different from their tumbles when the heat overtook any rational sense apparently hadn´t been the wisest choice. The older man had looked at him like Castiel had rammed a sword into his chest; shocked and pained and on the edge of strangling him. He hadn´t had the strength and will in him to stop Dean´s retreating form instead chastising his own lack of subtlety and social skills the whole night.

Next he had contemplated physical touch. It was easy, basic and safe enough that even Castiel could hardly fail. That was what he had hoped at least. However, reality hadn´t quite developed as he had wished. He had cornered Dean in one of the lesser occupied corridors shutting his eyes and gently pressing their foreheads together. It was a familiar gesture, one that had always calmed the taller man before, but when Castiel had slipped his hands into Dean´s dirty-blond hair his friend had snarled and thrown him into the opposite wall. “Don’t.” he had muttered and left as quickly as possible. One simple word. A command. Not his friend´s plea but his alpha´s order…and somehow this fact had hurt more than the rejection itself.

The water was cool and soothing to his dry throat, a nice contrast to the humid air and the sweaty clothes clinging to his skin. He knew dwelling on his failures would only result in a bad headache and a gloomy mood and so he splashed some of the refreshing liquid onto his face to cut off any thought process, at least for a few relieving seconds.

That was when he smelled it. Blood. Tangy and coppery and definitely fresh. The knife usually resting in its sheath at his belt was in Castiel´s right hand before he even realized that it wasn´t some animal´s blood getting his wolf excited and defensive at the same time. Too sweet and watery. Female and definitely human. Wounds pretty severe judging by the intensity of that scent.

He whipped his head around trying to spot the body belonging to so much blood; hoping the woman was still alive.

“Can you answer me? Where are you?” Castiel shouted into the thickness of the woods his ears straining to hear anything past the rush of water and chirping birds. There was nothing. He turned around a second and third time to perhaps detect some tiny movement that would give any indication to her whereabouts. Silent curses slipped over his lips, partially dedicated to his wolf for not simply taking over and sniffing out his new prey partially to himself for being too weak to allow it.

“I know you´re there and I know you´re bleeding. If you can respond in any way…please, I want to help you.” he tried again, his fingers nervously clenching and un-clenching around the hilt of his knife.

“O…over…here…” the words were nothing more than a faint whisper followed by a much sharper and pained intake of breath, the irony that without it he would have considered her words nothing more than a soft breeze didn´t slip his mind, and Castiel was wading as fast as he could through the river.

Even before he reached the other side he could see red stains smeared on the riverbed slowly drying in the sun. It looked like somebody had dragged her here, bandits maybe who had taken a liking to her valuables…and perhaps her appearance. Castiel shuddered at the thought but pushed forward, taking a left turn when the trail disappeared under an elder bush.

The woman…no, the girl…looked dreadful. Her formerly light brown dress was torn and only a few shreds were keeping her modesty intact leaving plenty of pale, naked skin to be observed. The soles of her feet were bloody and possibly inflamed from her attempt to escape her predator, angry red cuts lined her legs getting longer and more vicious the higher Castiel´s eyes skimmed over her body. They almost looked like claw marks, always three or four of them side by side, but he had no knowledge of an animal large enough to cause them in this region.

“Appreciate your atten…tion but you…re goin´…to stare or…help?” she sounded smug despite the obvious pain in her weak voice and Castiel couldn´t help but smile warmly at that. If she hadn´t yet lost consciousness because of shock and blood loss then she had a good chance of surviving.

“What´s your name?” he asked while gently turning her head to inspect the injuries there. The left side of her face was badly scratched and he could see the beginnings of a massive bruise forming near her eye. She probably hadn´t had the time to cushion her fall when whatever had been following her had thrown her down.

“Meg.” the girl hissed and glared at him when Castiel´s thumb grazed the cut on her bottom lip. He grinned sheepishly and combed through a particularly grimy part of her dark hair as an apology.

“I´m going to take you back to my…people, Meg. Our shaman should be able to tend to your wounds.” He received a tight nod and a pliant body to maneuver as he pleased while pondering if he possessed the strength to carry her in his arms. His gaze wandered over the many cuts on her back and legs again and he decided against it. It would only aggravate the wounds further, stretching and pulling painfully, and he did not want the girl to suffer even more if he could help it.

“I need you to sit up. I´m going to carry you on my back. Do you think you´re strong enough to wrap your arms around my neck?”

 

* * *

 

Finding the way back to the den wasn´t as easy as Castiel had wished for. His wolf was doing his best to catch a whiff of that familiar scent of home but the smell of blood and sweat and exhaustion coming from the passenger on his back was too dominating to concentrate on anything else. He had to shamefully admit he was kind of intrigued by it. His resolve to get her cleaned and treated as soon as possible was slowly crumbling replaced by something possessive making his hands grip the soft flesh of her thighs a bit harder than necessary. He dearly hoped it was just the blood trying to persuade his primal instincts that taking her now when she was vulnerable and semi-thankful for his help was a brilliant idea. Otherwise he would have to have a talk with Pamela in the near future.

“You have no idea where…where you´re going.” It was a statement not a question. One that was delivered with dry, bruised lips against his right ear and a warm and sweet, if not a little foul, breath indulging his senses. Castiel detected weariness and suspicion in Meg´s voice and he could not blame her for it. After all he had been stumbling somewhat disoriented through the thick foliage.

“I admit I am having difficulties finding the right path. Your scent is quite distracting.” he told her with a slight huff. If he could just remember how Sam smelled. Dry earth, burning wood and moss; nothing outstanding in a forest in the heat of summer. Castiel cursed under his breath and wondered why his friend hadn´t made any attempt at finding him. It must be way past their agreed time to meet.

“I take that as a compliment.” The smile against his neck felt wide and honest and his body responded to it almost immediately with one of his own. It faltered however when his eyes spotted the creature observing them both from the distance. And for a moment he could swear his heart stopped beating.

_Castiel nodded shakily, his eyes never leaving the beast slowly creeping out of the shadows towards them. The animal looked like a wolf but much bigger and…apparently entirely wrong proportioned. As it got closer Castiel noticed strong muscled arms where the wolf´s forelegs should have been. They looked human though covered with thick gray fur and red splotches of, Castiel suspected with dread, blood and ended in long, sharp, hand-shaped claws. Bile began to rise in his throat when the – monster was the first word to come to his mind – man-wolf´s mouth twisted into a malicious grin full of crooked, yellowed fangs._

His mother´s scream was reverberating in his mind; over and over and over again. Dread was holding his lungs in a tight, ice cold grip making it impossibly hard for him to breathe. He felt the guilt and fear, long defeated and locked up in the darkest depths of his heart and mind, resurface. Stronger than ever and wrecking shiver after shiver from his body. Castiel heard his wolf whine pathetically, could almost picture him cowering from the powerful emotions threatening to overtake every sane part of them, but he was unable to fight.

The beast remained where it was. Staring only at him as if it was unaware of the girl he carried on his back. Its yellow eyes flashed with something Castiel had feared to see; recognition. There was no other possible explanation for the way the half-wolf´s muzzle was moving into a distorted, cruel smile. This thing knew exactly who he was despite the change his body had gone through and it seemed delighted to have another chance to finish what it had started with his mother.

“What´s wrong with you?” The fierce slap to his face was stinging pretty badly and he had to shake his head to throttle the immediate urge of throwing Meg to the ground and tearing her throat out. When his mind had ceased any murderous attempts his eyes snapped back to the monster of a wolf.

It was gone. And no indication whatsoever where it had run or why for that matter. It would have been an easy task to kill them both; he had been too paralyzed by fear and Meg wasn´t in any constitution to even walk on her own feet. So why not risk it?

“Castiel!” Sam´s booming voice echoed through the eerie silence around them startling a few sparrows into leaving their hiding place under a bush. It was a relief to hear those heavy footsteps approaching and smell the familiar aromatic scent of his friend. His heart calmed to a slower, steadier beat and with every deep, controlled breath his body was losing its tension.

He didn´t miss the appreciative hum that escaped Meg´s throat when he turned them around to face a poorly dressed Sam Winchester. The reddish pants clinging to his muscled legs were hanging low on his hips and ended just above his knees. They looked uncomfortably tight like they weren´t intended for him but someone much smaller and Castiel supposed the tall man must have searched for the first available stash where they hid some change clothes for emergencies.

“I´m alright, Sam.” he reassured his friend with a smile and watched the dangerous, golden glimmer slowly leave those hazel eyes. After a few more cautious looks the alpha turned his attention to his passenger.

“Did you find her?” Sam asked while stepping closer to them, his gaze never leaving Meg who apparently had no control over her vocal cords because she started purring the moment Sam loosened her grip on Castiel´s neck to slide her over into his arms. The muscles in his arms twitched involuntarily making him wonder if it was because they were finally able to relax or if they were following his mind´s thought to pull the girl possessively back to him. He hoped it was the first.

“Yes. I had killed my prey when I headed for a nearby river to refresh myself. I caught the smell of her blood and went to see if there was something I could do.”

“No fight?” The look Sam sent him was skeptical at best. Castiel knew how he had to appear to the world; his arms and hands covered in scratches and bruises and his clothes smeared with now-dried blood and sweat.

“No fight.”

After a few moments of silent observation the alpha nodded and headed for the direction he had come from, the one that hopefully led to their home.

“Then I guess I can congratulate you on your successful hunt.”

“Wonderful. So is this the part where you take me to your healer or are we going for another walk through the woods?”

Even before his friend could raise his eyebrows in curious confusion Castiel felt a certain heat creep onto his face and told him the answer would not be worth further embarrassment. Fortunately for him Sam was one of his more sensitive and understanding friends.

 

* * *

 

Castiel knew he was dreaming.

One moment he had been sitting next to Meg´s bed to guard her sleep and the other he was standing on a high cliff dotted with daisies watching wave after wave crash against the sturdy rock. It was mesmerizing and for a brief moment he wondered if it was possible to fall off the edge when he stepped closer. He heard footsteps pad over the grass and a moment later a warm and dry muzzle was snuffling through his hair.

After the shock and confusion of realizing that he was indeed facing his wolfish side Castiel had come to look forward to their dream meetings. A smile crossed his face when he remembered his initial reaction two weeks ago. He had flailed and run, had shouted bloody murder and many other things he would regret for the rest of his life. It hadn´t helped in the slightest to find out that a wolf´s laugh sounded like a snorting pig.

**_You did well today. With both of them._ **

His wolf sounded proud and after a last nuzzle to his neck he flopped onto the grass next to him; the serene aura surrounding him slowly started to envelope Castiel too.

He was a work of beauty. Dark fur that either looked black or brown depending on the light, sharp blue eyes with a silvery gleam to them and a lithe body that spoke of agility and speed. And though he was smaller than his friends´ wolves his curiosity and affection for new things made up for it.

_**You do know my appearance is a reflection of yourself, right?** _

Castiel nodded slowly and sat down beside the gentle beast. He had had his suspicions when seeing Dean´s wolf for the first time without something clouding his mind. Seeing, maybe, wasn´t the right term; staring with an open mouth and a blank mind was more accurate.

**_Our alpha was pleased of our reaction. And he enjoyed the embrace a lot._ **

The huff of laughter leaving his mouth did nothing to quell the flush creeping up his neck and ears. Hugging Dean had been a spur of the moment. The urge to run his hands through the soft-looking fur had been too strong to control and before Castiel had been aware of what he was doing his face had been pressing against the huge wolf´s neck.

**_There is nothing to be ashamed of when feelings are reciprocated._ **

“I don´t think Dean enjoys my presence anymore.”

**_That is not true._ **

“How do you know?” he asked, defiant and curious at the same time.

His wolf turned his attention away from the restless sea to meet eyes with Castiel. His gaze was confident tainted with a hint of mockery, challenging him to strain his mind and find the answer himself. Involuntarily Castiel´s fingers grazed the still healing bite adorning the joint of his neck and left shoulder. He could feel every swelling caused by Dean´s teeth, knew they would heal but leave a row of tiny, white scars on his skin. It was satisfaction and joy that flooded his mind and body and somehow it felt even better than he had expected.

“It has something to do with this, hasn´t it?”

**_Yes._ **

“What does it mean?”

**_It´s a promise._ **


	3. Love Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know...I should be stoned to death and not in the good way. It´s been over a month since I updated anything and I´m terribly sorry for that.  
> Maybe it´ll cheer you up to know this chapter´s longer than the previous though I have to admit I don´t particularly like it and on the other hand I´m pretty sure I wouldn´t have done it differently. Wow, that must be how parents of a spoiled, rich child feel like...  
> Anyways, I hope you can make some sense out of it, ´cause I sure as hell don´t.  
> But at least it got continuity, yes!
> 
>  
> 
> P.S.: There´s a short apology drabble waiting for you in the end notes. Thought of this after reading some of my favorite author´s Dean/Cas-stories. Brownie points for everyone who guesses right.

_Dean had often been told he was too protective and possessive for his own good. Even his father who should have understood him more than anybody had chided him for his sometimes crude behavior and told him to stop disgracing his status and family. At the time he´d somehow felt mistreated – he had been just a little boy after all – and if he was honest with himself this opinion hadn´t changed much over the years. But perhaps John had been as devastated as him. Betrayed by a friend, losing his wife and almost his second son couldn´t have weighed easy on his mind. He had seen the grief his father had tried to hide from all of them and watching the strong, confident John Winchester sob into one his wife´s dresses as if he was a little child still remained one of the cruelest subjects of his nightmares._

_However, instead of withering like a tree without water and sun his father had stayed and watched Sam and him grow up. Whether he thought he owed their mother or if he actually wanted it Dean had never found out; and maybe this was best for all of them. But despite his attempts at being a part of their life John had been nothing but a ghost of his former self since their mother had died. So it had fallen into Dean´s hands to teach his little brother everything he had learned about hunting, survival or werewolf history. Of course there had been Bobby and Pamela aiding him on this rocky path but even then they had been too valuable for the pack to neglect their duties for long. The more so as John had announced he wanted the sturdy, dominant beta as their new leader._

_In the end it had been Dean who had lost the strength to watch the alpha hauling himself through every new day, the one who could not bear the fake smiles and the dead look in his eyes any longer. He had snapped and punched John in the face yelling at him the whole time._

_**You haven´t been a father for sixteen years now! I had to teach Sam everything while you were sitting in your room crying yourself to sleep! If you miss mom so much why don´t you go after her? Nobody needs you here anymore!** _

_It had been the first time Dean had let himself cry in front of his father not caring if he appeared soft and weak._

_It had been the first time since his mother´s death that John´s smile looked genuine and caring._

_It had been the last time the two of them shared an awkward but loving embrace._

A sharp pain in his right palm brought Dean back to the present and he swore loudly when he saw the various splinters piercing his skin, the broken handle of a pickaxe now uselessly clattering onto the floor. Another curse left his lips when he thought of the extra hours he´d have to put in to fix his trusted tool. Fate had taught Dean another important rule. Never dwell on the rotten parts of your past while carving your way through a solid stone wall. It tended to violate your toys…and the pitiful rest of your good mood.

Sighing he slid down the wall and attempted to pull out the offending wooden pieces. Needless to say even with the utmost care it still stung terribly.

“Is this a bad time?” The displeased growl left Dean´s throat before he had the chance to suppress it. Usually when he came down here to fulfill his duty as a future leader of the pack by creating new tunnels and quarters he did it with the prospect of being completely by himself. His brother was either concerned for his nurture or there was something wrong that needed his immediate attention and given the lack of alluring smell he expected the den to be in flames at the very least.

“Guess.” he told him through gritted teeth and a sharp hiss when a particularly stubborn splinter refused to be separated from his thumb. Why was it always the small ones hurting the most?

“You´re angry.” Sam took a few cautious steps in his direction as if he was unsure of what Dean´s next reaction would be; like he was some wild, desperate animal caught in a trap.

“Oh? What gave you that thought?” Dean knew he was getting peeved but since there seemed to be no actual reason justifying his little brother to disturb his peaceful work, even if it had been a little short-cut today, he had the damn right to snap at Sam.

“It´s because of Castiel.” No question. A statement. And God have mercy he hated Sammy for always hitting dead center.

Dean regretted this night. Not that it happened or the act itself – how could he after years of pining? – but the way it had went off. He had drunk quite a lot of Bobby´s delicious apple cider, had let his wolf reign free and deemed his whispers of showing his desire and claiming the boy in a more physical way the most brilliant idea ever. He had used Castiel. Had forced him into compliance by appealing to the beta´s natural obedience with his superior strength and commanding voice. And Cas – dear sweet, innocent, good-natured Cas – had let him. He had trusted Dean to take care of him. Had smelled of satisfaction, content and love so sweet and tempting in fact Dean had wanted to roll on top of his little angel afterwards and do the whole thing all over again.

“You miss him, don´t you?”

“Shut it, Sam!” he growled at the other alpha staring down at him, his aggravation worsening when he spotted the smug look on his brother´s face.

“Remember, you threw him out of your room.”

It had been one of the toughest decisions Dean had ever made but he´d seen the marks his teeth had left on Cas´ shoulder the morning after. He had claimed him; made him an uninteresting mating partner for every other werewolf who didn´t have a death wish. Or rather he had taken away any chance for his friend to find a suitable mate to his own liking. At least this had been what he feared with dread and his wolf hoped with delighted impatience. However, that was before the girl had crossed his path…

“Was there a good reason you came down here?” he grunted and gathered the remains of his pickaxe, still not crossing his brother´s eyes. He didn´t need to fuel Sam´s apparent mind-reading skills further.

“I…yes. And it involves Castiel as well.”

 

* * *

 

The pack didn´t like their new guest at all and normally Castiel could understand them but they were all doing a terrible job at hiding their disdain. Even though Meg was an unknown brutally breaching their most intimate territorial boundaries she was human and still healing from her wounds therefore weak and non-threatening in comparison to any of them.

“Maybe they don´t like my scent.” his new acquaintance told him with a cheerful smile while devouring the soup and bread Castiel had just brought her. He doubted this was the real reason; perhaps four days ago when Sam had carried her into Castiel´s room and treating her wounds had been much more important than removing the dirt, blood and sweat from her. However, now after being washed by two very helpful older women and dressed in new clothes he had no idea why the others were avoiding her so desperately. Certainly her scent was much more subtle than a werewolf´s but he did not find it unpleasant at all.

“They would act differently if that was the case.” Castiel said and took the empty bowl from her bandaged hand. Though those wounds would leave nasty scars on her body Meg was recovering very well and Castiel had been more than relieved to hear none of the gashes was going to fester and complicate things even more.

“What then? I´d really love to know because the look one of your friends sent me when they played their little game of ‘Interrogate the human’ yesterday was very murderous.”

This was news to Castiel and it puzzled him why nobody had wanted to tell him Meg had had any visitors while he´d been away to help out in the kitchen. They all knew he left the human´s side only to fetch food or when duty or nature called. He had been present when Pamela had treated her injuries and despite nausea and embarrassment battling for the upper hand he had assisted where he could. Castiel had stood watch when those nice ladies had carefully cleaned her bruised and battered body even if he had been staring at the wall for approximately an hour before he was allowed to turn around again. The last three nights he´d slept on the very uncomfortable chair next to her bed instead of retiring to the new room Jessica had personally prepared for him; needless to say his neck was starting to complain.

“Maybe it´s because you haven´t answered any of our questions and we´re still left to wonder how the hell you know anything about us at all.” Dean´s voice was low and rough a clear sign something dark and unpleasant was boiling inside of him preparing to be unleashed onto the next unsuspecting individual who dared to be at odds with him. Anger and rage appropriately enough smelled like fire and smoke and his alpha reeked like he had taken a bath in it.

“A girl´s got to have some secrets, doesn´t she?” Castiel winced when he heard the throaty growl and instinctively moved himself between the poor girl and the much stronger werewolf. He wouldn´t stand a chance against Dean if he wasn´t able to bring his emotions under control but he would do his best to defend Meg. He was surprised to hear his own growl, high and much too frightened but threatening nevertheless. Never had he intended to challenge his friend – not over something so trivial – and given the shocked look in those green-golden eyes Dean hadn´t expected him to either.

Castiel had anticipated many things to happen now, mainly a well-aimed punch in his face and a lot of angry yelling followed by another punch and unconsciousness. And when the other man breached the two foot distance between them he prepared himself for the hit and hoped nothing was going to break.

The grip of the hand on his neck was loose and calloused fingers stroked over his skin playfully but the slight, insistent press of Dean´s thumb against his Adam´s apple showed him how it easy it would be to cut off his air. Castiel knew it was a display of dominance used to intimidate, to make him regret his actions and submit and he felt the urge to bear his throat tug at his insides painfully. Still, it was the first physical contact they shared for days and he couldn´t prevent the quickening of his heartbeat or the lightheadedness their close proximity brought with it. It was more than a little difficult to suppress the whine building in his throat and Castiel had to shamefully admit this time it didn´t come from his wolf.

“You´d really do it, huh? Choose a stranger over one of your own people…” The anger in Dean´s voice had been replaced by a softer tone that sounded much more intimate than was appropriate with the additional human watching their interaction closely. He wasn´t able to swallow a sound of protest when Dean´s other hand found its place onto his right shoulder and was startled to see uncertainty cloud the usual bright, cheerful eyes of his friend.

“If I feel justified.” This seemed to be the wrong answer because the pressure on his throat increased noticeably making him swallow nervously in response.

Castiel was confused. As an alpha, a werewolf of high rank and responsibility over more than fifty people, Dean should be able to understand him best. ‘The strong´s duty is to protect the weak’ had been one of the first things his friend had taught him while treating his wounds from another attempt at teaching him how to fight. And now he acted like Castiel was betraying his pack and more importantly Dean himself by caring for Meg. He desperately wanted to ask if such hypocrisy was common amongst their people.

“And do you…Castiel?”

“Yes…”

The world went black all of a sudden and for a brief moment Castiel wondered if he mysteriously had gone blind and deaf. He tried to touch his face, find out why his senses were failing him, but neither his arms nor his legs were heeding any command.

That was until reality came rushing back to him, including an overwhelming, throbbing pain taking up the entire right side of his face. The taste of copper was sickening and exciting at the same time and given the roughness of the inside of his cheek he must have bitten it pretty hard. His sight returned to him slowly with splotches of white and black clouding his vision and so it took Castiel an uncomfortably long time to find out he was lying on the hard, uneven stone floor. His left arm protested heavily when he heaved himself into a sitting position his back thankfully supported by the small bed behind him.

“So this is what ‘your people’ do when facing free will? No wonder you´re hunted…” Meg´s voice was nothing more than an angry hiss above him creating another wave of pain to shoot through his dizzy head.

Castiel wanted to slap her hand, which had somehow found its way onto his left shoulder, to remind her she wasn´t entirely innocent this situation had taken a turn for the worse but felt not motivated enough to move his arm more than a few inches above his waistline.

“Shut your mouth, human! Or I will close it for you!”

“Oh? We´re threatening now? What a noble way to interact with a physically weaker being.”

“I swear to God I´m going to rip…”

“Dean, enough!”

Suddenly it was silent and Castiel was too aware of two pairs of eyes turning on him. Fighting earth´s control to pull him back down was more than difficult but he managed to do it somewhat gracefully for a man who had just been punched in the face by his best friend. His legs felt wobbly and when he grabbed the bedpost to right himself his stomach twisted unpleasantly; he did not need to add humiliation to his pain.

“I ask you to leave this room, alpha. Immediately, if you please.” his voice sounded strange to his ears quivering from pain, restrained anger and the furious wish to launch at the other man and throw him into the dirt. Castiel knew Dean was trying to catch and hold his gaze with his own, could smell the other werewolf´s desperation and regret over the subsiding anger, but he refused to acknowledge it.

“Cas…”

“Just go.”

 

* * *

 

Cleaning pots and pans was a mundane and not very well-liked task but it proved to be an incredible help at keeping a blank mind and right now Castiel wanted nothing more than repressing the memory of that disastrous afternoon a little longer. Dinner had been tense and uncomfortable enough with everyone he dared to cross eyes with either throwing him pitying or resentful glances. Somehow they´d all got wind of the incident between him and their future leader and were apparently taking sides now.

Though the squeak of twisting metal was muffled by his cloth it was loud enough to reach the sharp ears of the old cook who immediately turned from counting plums to glaring at Castiel like he had insulted his mother.

“I don´t care if you had a lover´s quarrel with the alpha, boy. Treat another of my girls that way and your ass will meet a whole new kind of pain. We clear?” It took him a few moments to understand the meaning of those words and when he did the other man didn´t seem to find his mistake noteworthy anymore if the rumbling, belly-deep laughter was any indication. It only increased when he mumbled an embarrassed apology and pulled another pan into his lap.

Two hours of silence passed between them only broken by Castiel putting down the metal utensil he had just dried and polished or the occasional approving or displeased hum from the other man who had gone from counting to listing the things they needed to restock on and when he had finally finished his assigned task Castiel realized he´d never declined the cook´s statement of him and Dean being romantically involved. He wanted to correct it because the last thing the alpha needed were rumors about them spreading through the pack but he knew his chance of doing so had passed some time ago. If he brought it up now it would only raise uncomfortable questions Castiel was sure he did not have a single satisfying answer to.

He just put the remaining articles in their respective places, folded the cloth and lay it onto the stool he´d been sitting on and nodded at the older man to signal he would take his leave now.

“Wait, boy. I need you to take this to Bobby.” the cook said and almost shoved the now folded piece of paper into his face. “Supply list.” he added grimly when Castiel made no move to take the offered object.

“Can it wait until tomorrow? It is late and I am tired.” He refrained to add his cheek still hurt like his fight with Dean was just mere minutes ago because firstly he could feel the strange prickling under his skin indicating it was already healing and second he doubted anyone in this pack who had dealt with greater injuries than a simple punch would count this as a reason to shirk duty and this man looked like he had survived a lot.

“It can…it won´t however. Now take it and go. The sooner you do it the sooner you can get back to that…human.” The last word was uttered with such distaste Castiel was certain he had intended to use an entirely different one but was concerned the following fight could demolish his kitchen.

So Castiel took the paper, bid him good-night and made his way to their leader´s chambers.

 

* * *

 

“Why does everybody dislike Meg? She hasn´t done anything to be treated like a threat.” were the first words leaving his mouth when he entered the spacious quarters without announcing his presence beforehand. He was pretty sure Bobby had already known he´d been headed to him and the way he casually sipped something that smelled like whiskey only much more vile from a small, cracked mug told Castiel he was right.

“Don´t shout at me, boy. You´re not going to intimidate me and it´ll only end badly for you.” Bobby´s voice was calm, maybe a bit rougher from the alcohol but it held authority and a clear warning to make good on this promise if the need should arise. It made Castiel want to shout even louder, throw that sick smelling bottle of whatever poison the other man thought he needed to consume and tell him how tired he was growing of everyone ordering him around just because they ranked higher.

On the other hand however Castiel knew he had quite worked himself up trying to sort through the massive amount of questions he desperately needed answers to; his breathing was fast, his heart was thundering in his ears and he was trying to smother the paper in his right hand. Not the things that would help him in any way now.

“I´m sorry…there are a lot of thing going on in my head.” He received a curt nod and an invitation to come closer and sit down when the chair opposite of the gruffy man was kicked from under the table.

“She knows a lot of things about us. Almost gloating over it when you´re not around…when you´re around, too. But she´s keeping it a secret where she got the knowledge. Refuses to let one hint slip.” Bobby took a hearty gulp from the amber liquid, which smelled even worse from this close, before he continued. “It´s rare but not unusual for humans to have gathered some information but I´ve never seen someone rattling off so many details. It may mean she´s working with a hunter and will tell him of our location as soon as she leaves or there´s someone out there who´s been studying us for quite some time. Doesn´t matter what, the solution remains the same…”

A few droplets of whiskey spilled onto the wooden table when he grabbed the bottle to generously pour himself another drink.

“Dean had mentioned something about that…”

“Before or after he acted like a cheated lover and considered talking with his fists?”

“I wouldn´t have it put it that way.”

“Fancy words don´t make it any less right, boy.” Bobby´s chuckle was rough like he was not used to expressing some sort of happiness or maybe it was the whiskey. Either way Castiel took this display of emotion for what it was: a privilege and an honor showing he now belonged to the few who´d seen something else on the stoic man´s face than a frown of disapproval.

“So this is why everyone is acting so hostile? Because they sense your distrust and react accordingly?”

It would not be first though the most inconvenient time this happened. Castiel clearly remembered the day he had attempted to climb one of the trees he knew was inhabited by a hive of bees. He hadn´t wanted much, just a tiny jar of the full-flavored, amber liquid to make some sweets for the twins´ birthday. The result was a dislocated shoulder and a broken wrist and of course a good and proper lecture from Dean on why no one should climb anything without backup, security rope and a check beforehand for brittle branches. The following week every adult had kept one or even two eyes on him thanks to his friend mollycoddling him like a mother hen. It had been the worst week of Castiel´s life and the day he´d been able to use his left hand again without the slightest bit of pain he´d taken the liberty to shout “Finally free!” from the top of his lungs during breakfast. Of course all eyes had been resting on him staring triumphantly at his hand after that outburst, some mildly disturbed but the majority with a twinkle of amusement. To say he had been thoroughly embarrassed was an understatement.

“Wish it was that simple.” the exhaustion was clearly audible in the gruff voice and Castiel suspected he would not like what his leader was going to tell him.

Sure enough Bobby´s hand rose from the wooden table, swaying a little and when his eyes darted to the bottle Castiel noticed it was nearly empty, and pointed in the direction of the bite wound on his neck carefully hidden by a layer of clothing.

“Know what it means?”

Castiel shook his head. He had wanted to ask Pamela about the bite and Dean´s strange behavior after that night but something, his wolf he presumed, had held him back. The thought alone had felt strange in his mind. Like he was not only going to strip down to his naked skin but to his heart and soul as well baring a part of him he, they, knew was not meant for her eyes.

“It is something meaningful. A promise of some sort.” he answered truthfully but could not bring his eyes to cross the older man´s. Instead he kept his gaze firmly on the table counting the shakes in the old wood.

“Who told you?” Bobby´s chair creaked as dangerously as the table when he leant forward to close the distance between them. He sounded suspicious and slightly angry. Nothing unusual actually but paired with their close proximity and seclusion of the room it made Castiel´s heart flitter nervously in his chest.

He had no desire to tell the man of his connection to his primal side because even though he could feel their bond growing stronger with every day Castiel knew it was still incomplete. It was missing an important neither he nor his wolf had any knowledge about because if this had been the case he was very certain they would have already found a way to shatter that wall between them.

On the other hand the gruffy, bearded man in front of him was his leader. And even if Castiel felt more obliged to follow an order his alpha gave him Bobby´s word was still the law in their pack until either Dean or Sam claimed his position. So naturally he had the right to hear about any change one of his betas was going through.

“I did.”

“ ** _You_** did?”

Suspicion gave way to confusion and for a moment Castiel heard nothing more than the occasional crackle of the torches at the wall. He could have said something along the lines of “My wolf.” or “My instincts.” and he was certain those would have been easier to understand than what he had chosen. It would have spared those last droplets of whiskey their now certain doom that was for sure.

When Castiel´s gaze finally met the other man´s to see if the silence surrounding them indicated he needed to further explain his leader´s eyes widened in sudden realization and disbelief.

“God damn it, Sam was right. You´ve finally grown up.” Castiel assumed he must have been radiating confusion out of every pore because Bobby added with a bit more grumpiness now that he had his answer: “Told me he faintly smelled wolf when he found you and the girl. He first thought you were being attacked by one but then he could scent it on your skin as clear as day. How excited you reacted to the girl´s blood and the victory of a hunt. Was about damn time something happened with you, boy.”

Despite the praise somewhere deeply hidden in his statement Castiel felt the flush of embarrassment crawl up his neck and ears. He hadn´t realized his right hand had wandered under the collar of his shirt to trace the white, little scars on the joint of his left shoulder and neck. All he noticed was the familiar wave of calmness and strange longing enveloping him like a soft blanket.

“You´re both a bunch of stupid, thick-headed and damn well blind sons of bitches.” The fond smile cracking Bobby´s lips oddly suited him and Castiel wondered, not for the first time, what had happened to the man to turn him into the pessimistic wall of skepticism he was today.

“Could you, please, elaborate?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised:
> 
> Sam looked devastated.
> 
> His face a pale, sickly green color and mouth twisted into a grimace of horror. He looked like he´d caught his parents doing the nasty. And given the bear growls and rough, demanding shouts from next door…let´s just say he really felt for the boy.
> 
> “Sam, my man! What can I do for you? Snickers, cookies, ice cream, ear plugs, brain bleach?” he asked with a grin betraying his innocent tone.
> 
> Helpless, hazel eyes stared at the angel´s sitting form in horror and confusion and Gabriel even made bets with himself when the human´s head was going to explode.
> 
> “I…well…Dean…Cas…they…I…”
> 
> “Calm, kiddo. Breath in and out slowly and start again.”
> 
> The hunter did and for a few minutes the only sounds filling the room were two grown men – actually one man and a sexed-up angel – trying to break through the wall separating the two rooms.
> 
> And then the storm came. And oh, did it come.
> 
> “Holy motherfucking shit, Gabriel! They´re fucking like animals…like, like rapid dogs. Your brother´s riding mine while they tear and bite and lick and suck at each other like they´re going to die when they stop! It´s…I…oh, damn…”
> 
> The tirade ended with a deep, long sigh and a weight slumping down on the floor. Gabriel couldn´t help himself, Sam was really too adorable.
> 
> “Come here, big boy. Walk with me.” he said softly while pulling the man of the floor by his arm.
> 
> “And let me tell you something about the influence of higher magic on your average, oblivious, supernatural love birds. By the way…does the term `knotting´ tell you anything?”
> 
> By the way Sam was feeding the poor flowers with the leftover contents of five-hour old lunch the angel concluded that yes, he knew.
> 
> Very well, in fact.


	4. Shame In Every Bone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You cannot imagine how sorry I am...

I know you´re expecting a new chapter and I would be delighted to give you one, really.

Truth is I have to tell you something sad: This story will be on hiatus due to the most massive writer´s block I have ever experienced since I started abusing Word and calling it art. I´m trying to understand my notes and see were the mistakes are - you know, the gigantic ones - that made my brain shut down this door but until then there will ne no new chapters.

And because some mindreader/fortuneteller-ish part of me already foresaw how pissed you would be about this I created a tumblr account where you can rant, cry or suggest possible plot points in the ask box or show me a picture of your middle finger in the submission box.

http://interestingalternative.tumblr.com/

Also, feel free to demand compensation in the form of little vignettes about everything you like. Outside stimulation makes the fantasy gland in my brain a happy, little hamster.


End file.
